Reversal of logic
Dementia Diaries
It’s the perfect beach weather so our weekends don’t pass without an evening at the beach. It goes without saying that simply sitting in front of an ocean view, feeling the mist and enjoying the breeze as the sun sets on another passing day is pure therapy. Especially for the elderly. They pass their days at home with minimal activity so a weekly evening out is most awaited, enjoyed and deeply appreciated.
As I watched these five seniors (all 80+ in age), there were no frowns only smiles. There was no tension only relaxation. There was no quiet contemplation only conversation. There was no lying in bed only sitting up straight. There was no boredom only interaction. There was no lack of ventilation only clean fresh air. There was no claustrophobia only freedom.
That was the impact of getting these elders out of the house.
Any trip to the beach includes a picnic. Picnics are a great way to uplift anyone’s mood. So as tea time rolls around out come the goodies. All senior friendly. Something sweet, something salty. Lots of soft easy to chew snacks with something crunchy to add excitement. The breeze was strong and cool. Perfect for a hot cup of tea to warm up their frailty.
Of all the seniors present the dementia mind (DM) remains the focus of my attention. That’s what we caregivers do. Observe closely. At times we remind ourselves to let it go. Relax a little and take the day off. Which we do. But habits don’t die easy so observation always happens. One thing which is a constant on beach days or any day that we leave home with the DM is she never forgets her purse. Her purse has all those things she could ever need. Mainly tissues and soft chewable mints! But on beach days she pulls out her sunglasses. Always a must. One thing she never fails to forget to ask is, “Will I need my sweater?” It may be the hottest of days and we are stepping out of air conditioned weather into the scorching heat and she never neglects on remembering her sweater. When the day ends and we are returning from the beach the same thing repeats only this time it’s, “I didn’t bring my sweater did I? Did I hang it up and forget to pick it up?”
The dementia mind has its own logic. One that I always find fascinating to understand. What seems to make no sense to me, always makes perfect sense to the dementia mind. The beach and a sweater in my mind do not go together. Cold weather equals sweater. Hot weather equals days spent at the beach. Logical right? But dementia makes its own rules as it progresses. The dementia mind works with snippets of memories, feelings and associations. That process of logic has nothing to do with the present moment.
A sweater represents being prepared. It means comfort. Maybe the DM remembers a cool evening by the sea when a sweater was worn? Maybe it’s simply a part of a habit that she followed of being prepared. Maybe she remembers that her husband often felt cold and therefore we insisted he dress warm and always carried along a sweater for him. Maybe she remembers her motherly instinct of packing warm clothes in the baby bag. Who knows what fragments of thoughts and memories dictate how the DM associates beach day? What’s fascinating is that she never forgets the correlation of sweater and beach. No matter how much we contradict and tell her she won’t need it, the thought does not leave her mind. To her, the sweater feels right and not a mistake.
In dementia the world stops making sense. What’s logical to us may not make sense to them. Dementia first damages the part of the brain that is responsible for judgement, problem-solving and adapting. On the other hand the part of the brain that is responsible for emotions remains strong for longer. So now it makes complete sense. The sweater, which gives comfort and is associated with being prepared, is the most logical thing in the dementia mind. Sticking to this logical habit also saves brain energy. The dementia mind doesn’t waste energy assessing today. It functions according to its set pattern which keeps it happy.
So the next time I prep for beach day, I should remember to pack her sweater and keep it in the car. If nothing it will save her brain from wondering whether she forgot her sweater at the beach. It will also save us from the repeated questions regarding the sweater. Adhering to her reversal of logic will enable her to enjoy the ride home. After all, going for drives is her absolute favorite thing so might as well enjoy it too!