When life takes away happy times it finds a way to give happy times again as well. After a loved one has passed, it takes time before you feel like doing the usual things or feeling the usual feelings. Life goes on and you must go on as well so you play out the motions but deep down there is a nagging feeling which lets you know that you are not in it 100%. You don’t feel like being social but you do. You don’t really feel like going out but you do. Even at home, you find yourself turning the TV on but rather than really being entertained you are simply flipping channels. What do you do?
It goes without saying that you go easy on yourself. Take whatever time you need to move forward. However there are some things that can help you improve your mood without feeling guilty about it. If anything, the last thing the dearly departed would want is to see you sulking around.
How about starting your day with a moment of silence. Give the departed one that honor. Remembering them first and then starting your day takes away any feelings of sadness or guilt. Honoring them actually makes you feel good. Like you did the right thing.
You might also keep some time once a day to revisit the happy memories. Flipping through some albums or doing some activity that the departed one enjoyed doing. Something small like grabbing coffee from their favorite coffee shop on your way to work. This will keep you connected to them and that way you may not feel lost.
Step out of the house. Even if it’s for a simple stroll. Sunshine removes the dark clouds. Draw the curtains or sit in a sunroom if you have one. Sunlight brightens the day and removes any feelings that pull you downward.
Think about what you are thankful for. Being grateful always helps eliminate stress. When you become conscious of the good things then you realize that even in the toughest of times, there are positives in your life.
Laugh. Find things that make you smile. Maybe watch a funny movie or play your favorite game. Some friendly competition often results in a good laugh. It will lighten your mood and the overwhelming emotions will disappear. Let the laughs come naturally so it won’t feel forced.
Finally, meditate. Sit out in the fresh air and breathe. Deeply. Instead of being lost in your thoughts be mindful. Do some yoga. Relax and listen to some of your favorite songs. The happy ones.
Emotional exhaustion is real. That’s why it feels hard to find your way back. You are basically tired and one night of sleep doesn’t provide you enough rest to regain the energy you generally use. The only thing you should force yourself to do even when you don’t want to, is paying attention to yourself. Do the right motions and before you know it you will have found your way back.
I appreciate the genuine insights you've shared. The journey through grief is undoubtedly a difficult one, and revisiting the happy memories can be a meaningful way to keep that connection alive. Enjoying the sunshine is a gentle reminder that even in the darkest times, there are ways to find moments of peace and light.