Delusion in the dementia mind

Dementia Diaries

Photo by Milad Fakurian on Unsplash

The best way to calm the dementia mind is to create a secure space where there is less chance of agitation. In the early stages of Mom’s diagnosis, it was a journey of discovery for Mom as well as for us as caretakers. 

One of the first times we encountered delusions in Mom’s dementia mind was during the winter months. Mom had developed some milia (forehead bumps). She also had a theory that if you ice the bumps they become smaller and eventually disappear. I often had petty arguments with her about this theory of hers and never thought her firm belief in her theory could potentially cause her harm. 

That year was a particularly cold winter and we had multiple snowstorms back to back. Remember when the kids were young and if there was silence in the house, the mommy antennae would appear and the suspicion was always that the kids were up to no good? That day Mom wasn’t sitting with us and after a while I wondered what she was doing. My mommy antennae were not out and I never thought much about what she could be doing, but I was simply curious as to why she wasn’t sitting with Dad which was her habitual thing. 

As a rule, and for safety reasons, I used to lock the front door of the home so the only way in and out was through the garage. Therefore, I was never worried that Mom could potentially wander out and get lost. The sound of the garage door opening was loud enough and created enough of a vibration in the home to alert anyone. So I went in search of Mom and the only place she could be was her room. When I opened the door I almost went into shock. It was snowing at the time and Mom had opened the window, unhooked the safety net window and was reaching out to try and catch some snow with the belief that the snowball would help her forehead bumps! I must have let out a small scream as I pulled her back in and she just looked at me blank as if there was no harm done so why was I frantic?! 

That episode was a first for me and a scary one at that. Yes, thankfully, no harm was done and we put into place more safety measures so these kinds of episodes don’t happen again. 

What I learned was that fighting the delusion that ice will help her forehead bumps was futile. Arguing with her about it was a waste of my own energy. What was easier was to find a way to distract her in the moment and think about how to avoid these episodes when my own mind was relaxed. So I immediately got an ice cube from the freezer and gave it to her to ice her forehead but she simply refuted the need for the ice cube as it isn’t ice that helps the bumps but rather snow!

I stand defeated.