Beat the odds
Years ago I witnessed my grandmother suffer a stroke. She was semi-paralyzed and her speech was affected. Suffering a stroke at a later age in life isn’t easy but she was meant to live longer and live well so she recovered. Slowly and steadily my grandfather, who was suffering heart issues himself, watched her recover. In hindsight, I will say he nursed her to health and when he felt she would be okay he passed on. So he held on until he was satisfied with her recovery.
Similarly, I witnessed an uncle suffer a stroke. He was younger than my grandmother when it happened but he had other underlying health issues which made his recovery not so complete as my grandmother’s. He, unfortunately, remained burdened by the paralysis. His speech was affected as well but his will to live was amazing. He remained sharp of mind, interested and curious. He loved reading, discovering and learning till the very end. Sitting with him was never like sitting with a patient. He never wanted to waste time discussing his issues. He always wanted to know about our lives. He remembered details that we tended to forget. That was his will. Even on his deathbed he said, “I still want to live.”
A few years ago I came to know that someone very close to me, someone I lived with for three years, suffered a stroke. We hadn’t even hit 50 yet so this came as a huge shock. Here is this person who I did almost everything with for three years. Some of the craziest times during our growing, discovering years. Independent from our parents and responsible for all our actions. Suffice to say, M will always hold a very special place in my heart so hearing that she was semi-paralyzed or that her speech was affected was traumatic enough. We don’t live anywhere near each other anymore and so our lives are cut off in many ways. I wasn’t ever and am still not a part of her journey to recovery. However, thankfully technology allowed us to reconnect. I slowly discovered, in bits and pieces, some of what she has gone through.
M has an amazing spirit. She is a fighter and she can light up any room instantly. A positive spirit is probably the one factor that goes a long way in bad times. Sadly not all of us are naturally blessed with one. Sometimes we have to work towards being positive. Even if we don’t beat the odds physically, our positive spirit enables us to live on and be a meaningful presence in the lives of those who surround us, ie my uncle.
Yesterday, M posted something that made me swell with pride. She was featured in a magazine and her story was told for the world to read. She continues to beat the odds and fight the fight. I am da— proud of you M! What struck me about the article wasn’t her recovery though. Being a caregiver myself, it was the honesty of the article.
When you have a child your world changes. You live for your child. You do the best you can and know how to give your child a great life. No parent is perfect and there is no correct formula. We all just follow our gut and that becomes our story. When you are done raising your child and they fly away from the nest, you realize how little time you had with them. This realization comes later though. We are all so engrossed in our lives that we forget time is limited.
Then suddenly something happens. Life throws you a curve ball. As a parent the last thing you ever want to witness is your child suffer. Death would be unfathomable so I don’t even want to contemplate that however a life altering condition is bad enough. Your inner parent is yanked out of that empty nest you are living in and suddenly you are faced with the daunting task of ensuring your child recovers. Life gives you a second chance at parenting. Life gives you more time. Despite the fact that there are no guarantees in life, you take center stage again and nurse your adult baby better than you ever could when you were younger.
As a young parent, it’s all cute and fun handling a growing mind and person. While you teach that child all you know, that growing personality does teach you a thing or two as well. That’s the beauty of the human spirit. So, God forbid, later in life you, as a parent, are tested again and you need to teach your child how to recover from a life altering illness, you learn that this fight is not your child’s alone. You have to fight with your own spirit to make sure your child sees the strength they need to see. When you fear losing the battle or beating the odds you are almost slapped in the face by the positive spirit that embodies your child. That spirit then teaches you a thing or two about fighting. About never giving up. About beating the odds.
The beauty of the human spirit is how much power it has over all our lives. We never know how our spirit can affect our own life or the life of others around us. I would like to think believing in this power makes for a better life. However the recovery may be, there are people who dedicate their lives and their spirits to ensuring that those fighting and trying to beat the odds succeed.